Have we been criticizing our weight; our face; our social skills? Have we scolded ourselves mentally for not getting something right? Do we feel like failures? There are so many ways that we may be illustrating self-hatred. But as common as it is, we do not have to live with it.
When we don’t take time to care for ourselves, even in just the necessities like eating, cleaning ourselves, and allowing ourselves to do something we enjoy; this is a prime indicator of self-hatred.
Despite not feeling worth it, it’s very important that we care for ourselves anyways.
This might mean taking a warm bath or relaxing for an afternoon to read a book. The idea is, when we’re feeling down and hard on ourselves, lacking to care for ourselves – though it can be easy to do – can make it worse or even reinforce the lies about ourselves.
When we start doing small things for ourselves, we will find we feel a bit happier. True, this is likely to be the tip of the iceberg, but self-care is a start to battling self-hatred.
The thing is, the less we do, the more likely we will feel bad about ourselves and the less motivated we will feel to do things. The cycle can just continue.
That is why, when we are aware of this in our lives, we need to make the conscious choice to do something.
- First we must care for our bodies, but also we should do something that gives us a sense of enjoyment, as well as something that will give us a sense of achievement
- Another action we can take to fight self-hatred is to surround ourselves with people who make us feel good about ourselves.
Coming away from a social gathering, we can ask ourselves if we felt our lack of self-worth being reinforced, or if we actually came away feeling a little better about ourselves. People who encourage our self-hatred will keep us in that place where it will be very hard to move away from it. These kind of people usually spot our vulnerabilities and can use our self-hatred to control us with guilt and shame.
Whether someone does this out of their own insecurities, or out of pride, there are times when we need to move away from situations in order to care for ourselves.
Here I have only begun to explain some of the ways that we can actively combat self-hatred. However, there is far more that can be done – especially from a spiritual approach. This is why part 2 will be the most important yet!
Sarah Tinning – Column: Living With a Positive Mindset
Sarah is a 18-year-old, living in Australia. She loves God, her family, singing, writing songs and novels, and playing guitar. She enjoys meeting up with friends, and just putting a smile on people’s faces; even better, making them laugh! She blogs about books, movies, music, and life at www.foreveraspiringwriter.wordpress.com